Some Things You Can't Change
by sarevok anchev
Summary: Post 3rd Impact. With everything that had taken place, will Shinji be able to live his second chance at life? Who will help him through the dark times?
1. Chapter 1

**EDITED: 04/09/08**

**AN**** – **_thanks a million to those who gave their comments and reviews about the story! As you might have already noticed, I really am rusty! Its really been a long time since I wrote so please bear with me. Thanks and please just keep on reviewing. It helps me carry on! Anyway, apart from fixing the grammatical errors, I added some stuff that I failed to put before so, enjoy!_

* * *

**Some Things You Can't Change**

**Chapter 1: The Life We Lead**

It was around 3:30 in the afternoon in the busy city of Tokyo-3. People went about with their daily lives—hustling and bustling throughout the city, minding their own business as they went on with their own daily concerns. Tokyo-3 was filled with so many towering structures; skyscrapers standing proudly, bridges stretching as long as they could, occasionally intersecting with some of the pathways of the monorail trains.

Inside of these buildings, inside one of these rooms, there were two men. They were in a fairly lit apartment in one of the more modest buildings in Tokyo-3. Inside the room, upon entering the door, a long office table would greet you as it was set at the opposite side of the door, with numerous papers scattered throughout the desk. A bookshelf stood a couple of lengths to the table's right, erected by the wall near the door. On the opposite side of it though, were two couches. A long couch capable of seating three grown men and a single seater couch. In between these two couches was a fairly big window, offering quite a captivating view of the heavens and the daily bustling of the people from below. On the single-seating couch sat a man with short wavy brown hair and round spectacles on his face. This man, who sported a 5-o'clock shadow, seemed fond in keeping himself rugged. On the long couch lay a man, eyes closed and appears to be thinking deeply.

"So tell me, what did you see?"

It was a red sky that terrorized the heavens, sheltering the vast barren wasteland that was Tokyo-3. In front of him, lay the dreadful stretch of deathly waters; a sea of blood- the seemingly never-ending sea of the so-called primordial soup: the sea of LCL. In that immense body of water were countless souls of men, joined together through the vanishing of all the souls' AT Fields.

One mind.

One body.

The repulsing image of Rei's face as it bore a twisted expression came crawling back to Shinji. All the disconcerting thoughts that strayed along in his mind came rushing back to him; the countless NERV employees plopping dead one by one down the cold, hard surface of NERV, Misato bleeding to death from her gunshot wound, his hopeless pleas to Asuka for her help and company, hearing her calls for his help during the battle against the EVA Series… and finally, the image that had always taunted him in his sleep- the violated, mangled and mutilated mess that was her EVA.

Cold liquid cascaded slowly from his temples upon recalling and retelling these. The effects of these haunting memories had born an effect on Shinji's features as he lay there on a couch inside his companion's office. His face, for his age, seemed a lot more creased and heavy. Dark circles ravaged below his eyes- a testament to his countless sleepless nights. His eyes had never been duller as the twinkle within his azure orbs seemed to have dwindled out drastically throughout the years. He had quite forgotten how to take care of himself these days- its not like he really did before. But, the changes that Shinji had taken seemed to have been for the worse as his body and spirit slowly (willingly or not) deteriorated as each year passed.

"Okay, take a few deep breaths for a moment," his companion told him as he cocked the bridge of his spectacles back up and then shifted towards another position on his chair. "now, help yourself with a glass of water before we proceed further"

"I don't think this is really working," Shinji protested as he wearily downed his glass of water. "We've been doing this for 3 months and so far, all we've gotten to stop was my daydream of strangling… her…" he trailed off. Shinji felt his hands tremble; from the tip of his fingers to his wrist, struggling to maintain his grip on the glass he was holding.

"Now now… I never did say this was going to be short and easy," his companion tried to comfort him as he took the glass from Shinji's failing hand and set it back on the side table. _'We need you to get better, buddy. You of all people deserve this second chance at life…' _he thought sadly as he watched his old friend struggle with pained eyes.

"Kensuke… you never really give up, do you?" Shinji said as he chuckled lightly, showing of a smile rarely seen from him for the past few years; snatched away from him by the traumatic experiences that he had gone through.

"Not when I know my friend's on the line I won't!"

This comment made Shinji smile even more. He regarded his old friend for some time, then setting his sights on the window on the corner of his friend's office, staring at the late afternoon sky while the rest of Tokyo-3 went on with their normal bustling lives below them.

"Tell me, do you remember how long it's been?" Apart from Shinji's apparent case of severe depression, he had somehow been having great difficulty remembering chunks of his past, big ones at that. It would seem that the overwhelming number of tragic experiences Shinji had gone through the past few years were also to be blamed for this.

"Since we all got back? 8 years… 8 long years, my friend" Kensuke told him, joining his friend in his fixation with the late afternoon sky. "Everything seems so far away, eh?"

"Too true…" Shinji started as he fixed his position, laying his body back down on the couch, staring at the ceiling that he had come to have familiarized through his numerous sessions with his friend. "yet, somehow I can't help but feel that I'd rather have it feeling that way. Like make it feel like it never happened,"

"We all wish those things never happened," Kensuke humoured him as he took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking one and lighting it up. He took a considerably long drag before exhaling, "Happiness and sadness…. Pain and pleasure… these are the dynamics of life. One cannot exist without the other. No one can experience true happiness without feeling sadness, nor can he find out the real pleasure in life until he embraces all the pain that life has to offer him,"

"You really have grown, you know? And grown well I must say," Shinji complimented him. Breathing deep and then letting out a big sigh he began, "I guess I should really put more effort into this," he looked at Kensuke again, who was then taking another hit from his cigarette, "I need to get myself busy, right?"

Kensuke nodded, "Yes that's true. To make things easier for you, why not try and focus on the things you always loved to do, explore things further and experiment?"

"I guess I could start with music then," Shinji mused aloud.

"Yeah, why not? You've always been a good musician. I can quite remember watching you play back in high school. In fact, I think you had some big fans of your music,"

"You mean Asuka, right?"

"Well, I did try to avoid mentioning her name, alright," Kensuke sighed. He knew all too well how sensitive this topic was with Shinji. It's been 8 long years and still he hasn't been able to come into terms with what it is that he really feels for this certain redhead in his life.

"It was also you who told me that I've got to start facing my issues one of these days. Perhaps I might take you on regarding that," Shinji told him as he let his sights crawl back to the ceiling. "but then again, I might just be getting ahead of myself and once she's right in front of me, I cower and run away again… Like I always did," he finished with a heavy tone of bitterness.

"One baby step at a time, buddy," he whispered to his friend. He regarded his friend's form lain down on the couch with much sympathy. _'At least he's showing signs that he still wants to live,'_

After what seemed like an eternity, Shinji broke the silence.

"How is she anyway?"

* * *

"Wake up! You're going to miss your flight!"

Morning came welcoming her blue eyes as she opened them slowly. She searched for the owner of the voice that called her back from her slumber. She was there, long black hair and green eyes, sitting by her bed with a cup of hot coffee on one hand, smiling warmly at her. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead"

"Erin, you're a lifesaver.." she whispered to her friend sleepily, yawning a bit as she slowly regained her senses.

She smiled sheepishly at her, slowly getting up to take the cup of hot coffee from her hands. "Top of the morning to you too," she whispered before she took a sip from her coffee. "What's for breakfast?" she asked her companion as she placed her cup on the desk beside her bed.

"I was kind of in a hurry because I know there'd be a big chance of us being late going to the airport. I managed to make some bacon and eggs," she told her as she stood up to make her way back to the kitchen.

"Gah, I don't really want to go back to that place, you know?" Asuka said as she got out of bed, letting her long red hair fall freely to her back. She picked up her coffee and went to the dining room to continue her conversation with her flatmate.

Erin eyed Asuka for a bit and then laughed lightly at her. _'Something's bothering her about this trip to Japan…'_ she knew all too well when something was up with Asuka. She needn't make Asuka say as much, she read her like an open book, much to Asuka's initial chagrin.

"You're afraid of going back there," she said bluntly as she looked into Asuka's eyes.

"Yes and no. I miss my friends from there. I only get to mail Hikari every once in a while. And I can't hide the fact that I miss the sloppiness and loudness of Misato…" Asuka explained as she traced circles around the tip of her cup, letting the aroma of her coffee dance around her nostrils.

"Oh that I know," Erin chuckled lightly at the memory of Asuka's first recounting on how her Japanese guardian was. She made her way to the dining room and placed the food she prepared for breakfast down on the dining table before she placed two plates and two sets of silverware. "but I can't help but feel that you're missing someone in that list,"

"You do know I hate it a lot when you do that, right?" Asuka narrowed her eyes as she gave her flatmate a look. "It creeps me out that you know me too well,"

"Yeah well, you never really made an effort to hide them from me" she countered while she chuckled. "You still don't know what to say to that Shinji, yeah?"

"Everything was going on perfectly until that letter came," she huffed as she let her head slump down on the dining table, beside her plate then she let out a deep sigh.

"Oh that's what you wanted to think! Asuka, you haven't even seen a man ever since you got here!"

"It's just making my life feel like a big complicated puzzle!" Asuka whined as she started toying with her food. "Why can't I live a simple life now that the whole Eva deal is done?"

"Is it really Eva that's bothering you or is it just a cover up because what's really bothering you is the one that kept saving you when you still did pilot duties?" Erin teased as her friend narrowed her eyes on her again.

"Gah. It's official. I hate you!" the redhead declared with frustration as she got up while her friend let out a healthy chuckle.

"Just relax dear. You'll know what to say when you see him. It won't be that bad!" Erin assured her as she watched her flatmate's retreating form go to the bathroom. "God help her," she whispered to herself as she went on with cleaning their dining table.

* * *

It was almost 7pm when Shinji got back to his own apartment. He noticed a couple of envelopes lying at his doorstep as he came.

'Must be my pension,' he thought o himself as he picked them up, looking at the envelopes to see where they came from.

"Let's see…." He said to himself as he browsed through his mails, checking if there was anything that he needed to address immediately, "Touji... Misato… my pension… Nerv…- NERV?" he stared at the envelope with utter disbelief. He fumbled to open it, still frazzled with what he had just experienced. After 8 long years, he was holding a letter that came from the organization that he so didn't want to become part of anymore.

Shinji Ikari,

Good day to you!

First of all, I would request of you not to by any means go ballistic as you read this letter. We come with good intentions as we sent you this letter. I hope that you'd hear us out.

As you may have realized before, it had been announced to the whole world that NERV, along with everything affiliated with it had been dissolved by the United Nations. That was wrong. We were allowed to continue by the UN, provided that we keep our dealings as discreet as possible. We've been monitoring the things that had been happening across the globe for 8 years now and we were shocked to find out that amidst what we thought was already a peaceful restart, there is someone hell-bent on trying to do something unreasonable.

This is then why I urge you to come visit us here at Geofront as soon as you possibly could. We know that asking more from you might seem unfair. Right now, you're presence here is all that would matter. Shall you decide to take us up on our offer, feel free to contact us with the number written in the address of the sender and we shall send for you.

We really hope to hear from you soon.

All my regards and wishes,

Kozou Fuyutsuki

Supreme Commander, NERV

Shinji tried his best to recall what happened after the Third Impact. A surprising amount of people had decided to come back to reality and live their lives according to how they see it fit. Shinji was initially glad to see his dear friends come back; Kensuke and Touji who came back unscathed and completely healthy along with Hikari. It made him even happier to see Kaji, his surrogate father figure come back along with Misato and most of the NERV employees. A week after the return of these people, Shinji got a visit from Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, telling him that his father, Gendo Ikari, did not make it back. Apparently, he might have just found what he's been looking for, eternal peace with the only person that mattered to him, Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari.

He shuffled in his pockets as he dug his for his keys. He had been living alone some time after the Third Impact. He had refused to stay in Misato's flat any longer, telling her that the place just reminded him of too many memories that he was trying to forget. Misato knew all to well what he meant by this. Shinji took it hard when he heard news about Asuka's sudden departure for Germany. Although they never really understood each other, or was able to last 30 mins without biting each other's head off (more like Asuka biting Shinii's head off), ever since the Third Impact, they seemed to have discovered more common ground than they thought that they would ever have. For Shinji, it was one of those moments that he still felt that he was still alive.

**(flashback)**

_The late-afternoon sun of April was starting to show signs of setting. Kids were starting to retreat to their own respective homes, bidding farewell to their friends and playmates; laughing as they ran off towards their home. It was such a sight to behold- the innocence of youth._

_They sat there, alone by the swings, passing the time like they usually did lately. For the people that knew them, it would've seemed quite impossible to see them together like this, enjoying the silence embracing them, not daring to utter a word to ruin the moment. No quarrels, no bickering, whatsoever. It was just peace and comfort at each other's presence._

""_Shinji," the redhead started, swinging herself back and forth by her own. The blue-eyed boy turned to her, waiting for her to continue._

_Shinji took the time to examine her features; she was the same Asuka from before- her hair, her eyes, her face, her skin… they still were a testament to God's penchant for perfection. Whatever happened to her with the Eva Series before the Third Impact bore no scars on her body as she seemed to have been completely revived from that epic battle._

"_Do you miss it?" she stopped swinging and looked at him in the eye. She was serious alright._

_Before Shinji began, he looked up at the sky and sighed, "Eva? I'd lie if I said I didn't. After all, it was my only way of being with my mother, even for just a brief amount of time," _

"_I could say that for myself too," she agreed as she returned to swinging by herself again, "the last time I got in my Eva, I was sure that mama was there with me, urging me to give my all… fighting those pathetic excuses for an Eva…"_

"_I wish I had your strength back then,"_

"_But you always were the stronger pilot, baka!" Shinji, puzzled, looked up and gave her a questioning look. She rolled her eyes and expounded._

"_Yes, you can be a damn blithering idiot when you're outside an entry plug. But, once you're in one though, it's like you have this alter-ego that's hell-bent on spending his entire life piloting the Eva better than anyone else," she was blushing a bit as she said this._

_Shinji smiled as he heard her say this, "Asuka, you've changed…" Asuka regarded him, staring straight into his eyes._

"_I like it," he said._

**(end flashback)**

Shinji let out a grunt as he entered his apartment. It wasn't that much. He lost his own motivation to fix his place up a long time ago. For him, as long as he can still dwell on it, it was fine.

But, Shinji knew this had to end.

"Must start somewhere," he muttered to himself as he placed his keys on top of the counter. Grabbing a rag, he decided to start of with cleaning his own apartment.

* * *

AN: Wow, this took me a long time to write. After that dismal first attempt at writing again, I took Razgrizblaze1 and Darknemo2000's words into mind and decided trying to fix what I've been lacking. I still am trying to fix how I build my lines and imagery. If there's anyone out there who would want to beta read for me, please feel free to message me!


	2. Chapter 2

**Some Things You Can't Change**

**Chapter 2: Peace Is An Illusion**

**(flashback)**

_Shinji opened the door to Misato's apartment. He spent the rest of the previous day wandering aimlessly around park and other places to think. He couldn't quite grasp what his mind was telling him, what bothered him even more was his heart wasn't even helping him- it was confused too. At an age of 15 years old, you really can't expect him to understand the complexities of life- let alone to understand the intricacy of women- especially one Asuka Langley Sohryu. She puzzled him to no avail; pleasant one moment, aggravating at another. This was what he realized when he and Asuka got into another argument yesterday. Everything was going on pretty well until it got a little bit too… intimate. _

"_I won't run away, Asuka. Not this time," _

"_I'm home," he called out to the inhabitants of the apartment. Shinji felt a strangle tingle run down his spine- an unpleasant tingle. _

_The Katsuragi residence was awfully quiet._

"_Misato? Asuka? I'm home!" _

_No answer._

_It was then that Shinji heard faint whimpering inside Misato's room. Curiosity killed the cat; Shinji went over to Misato's room to investigate further, he would have to deal with Asuka later._

"_Misato? Are you alright?"_

_Stupid question really, Shinji got no answer. Worried, he stepped inside of the room. There he saw Misato, kneeling down on the floor, clutching her arms and rocking herself, silently weeping as if trying to hide her tears from the world's prying eyes. _

"…_m- Misato?" This was bad- Shinji could feel something was up. There was definitely something amiss here._

"_Shinji…." She looked up at him, her eyes almost telling shouting out to him a thousand different kinds of apologies._

"_She's gone… she went back to Germany!"_

_The curtain call had begun._

**(end flashback)**

"Asuka!"

Shinji woke up sweating, his whole body drenched with his own sweat, the sheets of his bed messed all messed up. It was 3:30am, the rest of Japan still probably in a deep slumber. Nightmares haunted Shinji's sleep every night. Losing the further interest in his bed and thoughts of going back to sleep, he decided to get up and get some water.

"Must this happen every night?" he muttered to himself as he sleepily trudged to the kitchen, fetched himself a glass of water. Shinji took a sip of his drink and settled himself near the kitchen counter. He searched the contents of the counter for his trusty tool for decompressing- a pack of cigarettes.

Shinji studied his surroundings as he lit himself a stick and took a lengthy drag out of it. It seems that his cleaning skills haven't been all that rusty; the kitchen tools in their proper drawers, cleaned dishes and dining materials neatly placed back to their containers. The same went for the rest of his house- books properly lined up and stacked on their proper shelves, no visible trace of dust on the table tops, no sign of used articles of clothing that used to be scattered across the room. His collection of musical instruments lined together properly, nestling peacefully on their own music stands, a vintage 1956 cherry red Fender Stratocaster electric guitar, a 1973 Fender Rhodes electric piano and finally his most prized possession; his mother's cello.

'This place looks so barren compared to Misato's apartment before' he thought. Although in this apartment he had all the room for his stuff, it severely lacked something that he used to have back then at Misato's place- company.

Shinji glanced at the wall clock by the kitchen- it was 5:30 in the morning. "Well, it's about time I started a new routine," he said to himself as he started to prepare breakfast for himself.

* * *

"Attention: The plane from Leverkusen, Germany had just arrived,"

"Come on! Quick! So she'll see us better!" the brown-haired woman egged on her companion as she snaked through the think mass of strangers flocked in Tokyo-3's airport. She stood a good 5 feet and 6 inches. She looked fairly attractive; her hair tied down in a ponytail, she wore a yellow collared shirt and denim jeans.

"Do I really have to be here, Hikari-chan? I think you got the wrong Stooge to come with you!" her companion whined.

Hikari halted and turned around to face her companion. "Quit being a Smart Alec, alright? Give her a chance, who knows she might just be more pleasant to you guys now! Just be nice, alright, Touji?" Hikari pleaded. She gave her companion a warm smile and a quick peck on the lips to further encourage her companion.

"Fine. But I'm only doing this for you!" Touji crossed his arms defiantly and gave Hikari a narrow stare. Hikari on the other hand gave him a stern look. It's pretty obvious who lost this battle, Touji let out a sigh.

"Hikari!" called a familiar female voice. Touji's insides seemed to have churned a little upon hearing the voice. _'The voice of my deepest nightmares!'_ he thought bitterly to himself as he watched his lovely companion run towards a familiar redhead.

"Oh my god, Asuka! It's been too long!" Hikari squealed with delight before she hugged her long-time best friend eagerly.

"I have to agree! I missed you!" Asuka replied, returning her friend's gesture as warm as she received it. Upon breaking their embrace, Asuka noticed Hikari's companion, Touji.

"I see you brought a Stooge with you," she told Hikari as she pointed to Touji. Being a good 3 inches taller than Asuka (5'9"), Asuka noticed the physical changes that Touji had manifested; although still sporting the similar hair style, his face had become more chiselled, the build of his body was showed more definition through the simple brown shirt that he had on.

"Well, it's his duty as my fiancé!" Hikari explained proudly as she flashed her engagement ring to Asuka and beckoning Touji to come closer.

"It's been a long time, Sohryu," came Touji's greeting, trying to sound as civil as possible. Asuka regarded him for a while then gave him a small smile.

"It has been, Sto- Suzuhara. I guess it can't be helped, I wish the both of you luck on your up coming wedding!" she told the couple as they started to walk towards the airport's exit.

"Thank you! We'll be expecting you there at our wedding! You're my bride's maid!"

"Of course, I'll be there! It will be an honor!" she smiled at her friend.

* * *

The front door of the Katsuragi residence still felt so familiar and inviting to Shinji as it did for him 8 years ago. He inhaled deeply as he pressed the room's bell, signalling its owner of its visitor's presence.

"Be there in a sec!" came a man's sleepy voice as Shinji heard slow and heavy footsteps approach the front door. In a matter of seconds the door opened, revealing a half-asleep Kaji, wearing an old shirt and boxer shots with his hair all tied up in a messy ponytail.

"Hello Kaji! Sorry to bother you! I know its a tad bit too early in the morning," Shinji raised a hand to wave at his surrogate father figure then used the same hand to scratch the back of his hear- his own way of easing awkwardness at times.

"Ah it's just you, Shinji! You're always welcome here! Come on in, I'm about to start preparing breakfast!" Kaji motioned the brown-haired boy to go in to the apartment.

"Who was it?" came a female's voice from the room to Shinji's left as he entered his old residence. He instantly knew the owner of this voice upon hearing it. _'Tadaima'_ he thought as felt the familiar air of Misato's apartment engulf him. 'This place is host to so many memories… too many'

"It's Shinji, I invited him to have breakfast with us," Kaji replied as he went to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. "You can make yourself comfortable, kid. You can play with Mica if you want, she's in her room," Kaji told him.

"Hello Shinji! It's so nice of you to drop by!" Misato emerged from her room, wearing her traditional home clothes- a yellow sleeveless shirt and short denim shorts.

"I got a letter from NERV yesterday. You have any idea what's going on?" Shinji handed Misato the letter he receive from NERV last night when he arrived home. Misato's expression darkened as she examined the letter Shinji gave her.

"So, it is true… Ritsuko called me a couple of days ago. She told me about this organization named SEELE. They used to fund NERV's researches. Apparently, they were the ones that wanted Third Impact and the ones that sent the JSSDF to raid our facility," she explained to Shinji as her husband came out of the kitchen with the breakfast he cooked.

"Apparently, they all came back after the whole ruckus with Instrumentality. Ever since day one, they've been planning for a take two to finish off what they started," Kaji added.

"But, they got what they wanted, right? They're one already with those people who chose to stay in the sea of LCL!" That was a good point. Why would SEELE want to go back? Kaji was prepared for this.

"True, they got part of what they wanted. But when you rejected Instrumentality, you made them look like they made a fool out of themselves. You gave everyone a choice to reject the superficial reality that they were given. SEELE wanted everyone—every single individual to be part of the next evolutionary step for mankind," Kaji explained.

"More like a leap. An abnormal leap," Misato grimly added. "They wanted a certain level of enlightenment that couldn't be achieved in this time,"

"The nature of men compelled them to be as selfish as they were. Men are never contented with what they possess. They will continue to search for answers and whatever it is that they need to do to sate their overwhelming desire of self-fulfilment," Misato's husband finished off as he went to what used to be Asuka's room to call out their daughter, Mica.

"According to Ritsuko, intelligence from the UN got hold of this information as they spotted Keel Lorenz, the head of SEELE, and several other men in a 5-star hotel in St. Petersburg," Misato added as she started helping herself with breakfast

Their conversation was abruptly stopped as Misato and Kaji's little daughter came out of her room.

"Uncle Shinji!" the little kid called out excitedly as she ran towards the brown-haired boy. Their kid, to Shinji's point of view was a very strong reminder of an old friend of his—long black hair and deep blue eyes like her father's. What surprised him though was what the girl had worn on her hair. "Look, Uncle Shinji! I found them yesterday in my room!" the girl pointed to a pair of red A-10 clips that she had on her hair. Wit her long hair and her blue eyes, she was a spitting image of a young Asuka Langley Sohryu. If only she was a redhead…

"Like what you see, eh Shinji?" Misato teased as she scooped up her daughter for an embrace. Shinji, a little flushed, reddened at the comment given to him. "Don't worry, kid! She's only 4 years old! She can't hurt you like her look-alike!" Kaji teased as he prepared her daughter's food on her plate.

Shinji did his best to recover from this as fast as he can and continued their previous discussion. "So, with SEELE's return and NERV's reactivation, would it be safe to say that…" he trailed off as his insides began to squirm at the thought of mentioning her name out loud.

"Yep, she should be back here to today, if my memory serves me right,"

* * *

'_Tokyo-3 hasn't changed a single_ _bit'_ Asuka thought to herself as she stared through the window of Touji's car. "So, how is everyone?" she asked.

"Well, Misato and Kaji got married a year after you left. They have a 4-year old daughter now if you don't know. She's starting to look a little like you, you know!" Hikari replied as Touji let out a snicker, "Yeah, poor Shinji!" that earned a good whack in the head from Hikari.

"Now that NERV's operational again, I believe that their daughter might stay with us quite a lot since both Kaji and Misato would be very busy with work soon…" Hikari added.

"And what of the other Stooge?" Asuka asked once more.

"Kensuke? Well, as much as you wouldn't want to believe, he lost his love for the military toys after coming back from the sea of LCL," Touji was the replied to this question. "He pursued a career of Psychology instead. In fact now, one of his clients is a dear friend of ours," he added as his voice sounded darker as he went on.

Asuka noticed the change in Touji's mood as she gave Hikari a questioning look. Hikari let out a sigh and gave Asuka an apologetic look. "You know, there some things that changed a lot since you left,"

Asuka knew this too well.

"Shinji," hesitating for a moment, Asuka decided to ask, "How is the baka?"

"I haven't been able to talk to him recently. He's been detached for quite some time now. I was able to have a chat with Kensuke though like a couple of weeks ago. He told me Shinji's been busying himself with a lot of things lately; pursuing his music and all. He's actually built quite a strong reputation already with the local scene here,"

"That's good for him then. He's always had the gift for music." Asuka replied before letting out a barely audible sigh.

"It should be. But whenever I see him, I can't help but feel that there's something that's constantly bothering. It's not really a mind boggler if you'd ask me," Touji added as he eyed Asuka for a moment before setting his sights back on the street.

"You mean because I left?" Asuka inquired, fearing the possibility of the damaged she caused the already damaged boy she left behind.

"More like because you left him, buddy" Touji pointed out.

Seeing the tension slowly rising to an uncomfortable level, Hikari decided that it was time for her to butt in. "Come on, we can discuss this issue some other time! It's too heavy for a first day discussion!"

* * *

"Major Katsuragi, what's the status on our pilots?" the now-Supreme Comander Fuyutsuki asked as he walked with the major through the halls of the NERV headquarters.

"The Second Child just arrived in the airport and was welcomed by the Fourth Child and his fiance, Ms. Horaki. I reckon that she will be staying with Ms. Horaki for the time being. We can expect her to report for duty tomorrow at 0800hours," the major reported as she scanned through the files of their current Eva pilots.

"Very well, what of the Third?" inquired the commander.

"The Third Child came by to my apartment this morning, I had been able to inform him of the information we received from the UN. He told me that he might call us tomorrow if he feels that he is ready to face NERV again,"

"Very well," the commander rubbed his chin slightly with his index finger and middle finger as they walked, thinking of his next question for the major. "How are the preparations for the Evangelions going?"

"According to Dr. Akagi, the s2 engines have been installed on Unit 01 and Unit 03. The mechanics have just finished the final preparations for Unit 02 and they shall prep it for an s2 engine upgrade tomorrow at 0700hours,"

"Wonderful. Have the Second and Fourth Child run through a refresher course once they get here tomorrow. Shall the Third Child come and participate, have him come up to my office for a word,"

"Understood,"

"That is all. Dismissed," The major then walked to her office, leaving the commander, Kozou Fuyutsuki near the hangar of the Evangelions. 'So young man, are you willing to take up the position once more? Or did your old man traumatize you too much already?' the old man thought to himself.

* * *

"Ken will kill me,"

Shinji was imagining the different kinds of speeches and sermons he will receive from his bespectacled friend as he sat on a highchair waiting for a cup of his salvation-

scotch.

Shinji often found himself wasting his nights away at this local bar called Kafe; a block away from his flat. It was a small pub that hosted performing musicians during weekends. For this reason, the place had become quite popular to the local people. Shinji even found himself playing here from time to time. As a matter of fact, it was here when he first performed in front of a public crowd; an open-mic night where anyone could jam with anyone. After a year of studying and mastering his guitar playing and piano playing skills, coupled with his drunken stupor, he got up on stage, grabbed a guitar and played some blues while people would come up onstage from time to time to try and sing to his tunes. This pub had been his sanctuary of sorts, a place that always welcomed him, and as time went on, it was a place that showed him that he was loved.

"What seems to be the dilemma now, kid?" the old bartender inquired as he handed Shinji his drink. He looked somewhere around his 50's, with quite a handful of white hairs already popping out from his originally raven hair.

"Same old, Skip. Problems with Neverland," Shinji then took a sip of his scotch and closed his eyes; relishing the warmth that it generates as it passes through his throat then down to his stomach. Opening his eyes, he searched his pockets for what he deemed was the perfect combination to his liquid addiction-

Cigarettes.

Shinji lit himself a stick, then got a lengthy drag out of it. Skip, the bartender placed an ash tray near him idly shaking his head as he goes back to cleaning mugs and glasses. "You're really looking for a death wish, eh? It's always like that- scotch and cigs, scotch and cigs"

"It helps sometimes, you know" the young man argued as he took another sip of the copper-colored substance and taking another puff from his death stick. "And besides, I need this one right now."

"So, I guess it's just not about that redhead you always talk about," the bartender assumed as he leaned on the counter sideways.

"The company I used to work for, they want me back." Shinji told him as he took another sip of his scotch and a puff from his cigarette.

"NERV you mean? But I thought that there's no more need for them since those blasted creatures were gone!"

"That's what I thought as well! But apparently, this other company that used to fund NERV wants us and the rest of the world that would resist them dead. So I guess we'll be saying hello to rough times again,"

"Now that's just annoying…" Skip muttered while shaking his head. "Peace… it's only an ideal nowadays. Attaining it now is nothing but a utopian dream thanks to bastards like them,"

"To be perfectly honest about things," Shinji started as he shifted his position in his seat, before taking another lengthy puff from his cigarette, "I'm quite close to becoming really jaded with things like these. I've already seen the worst during Instrumentality. It's a suffering cycle. I doubt if we'll ever learn…"

"That's just sad, Ikari" came a familiar voice from behind him. The owner of that familiar voice came closer and sat on the stool beside him.

"I know… but what can I say? I learned from your wife," he replied without even bothering to look at his new company. "So Kaji, where's Misato? It's very unlike her to not be in places like this," he inquired to his ponytailed friend.

Kaji chuckled after hearing Shinji. "She's still at NERV, busy with the final preparations for the return of the pilots," he told Shinji as he nodded thanks to the bartender who handed him a glass of scotch as well. "So are you ready to face her again?" Kaji inquired.

"Well, it's impossible to not summon her too. She was the best after all," he argued.

"That was before you came into the picture, kid"

* * *

Graveyards are one of the quietest places on earth. It is where people are put to their final rest so that their souls may leave the fleshy prison and fulfil their main reason for living—to embark on their journey in the afterlife.

A lone figure stood in front of two closely placed tombstones, holding a lily flower on one hand and a bottle of whiskey on another. Gently placing both items in front of each tombstone, he sighed then muttered, "Well, preparations are about to be completed. Soon, it will be just like old days,"

Kozou Fuyutsuki was not a fan of graveyards. It always reminded him of the painful experiences he went through after the Second Impact. Yet in this particular area of the graveyard, he would rather stay than be anywhere else.

"Your son's struggling. He needs your guidance," he eyed the tombstone to his left with a name etched on to it:

Ikari, Yui

"Both of you," then eyeing the other tombstone to his right:

Ikari, Gendo

* * *

AN: Thank you to all those who are patiently waiting for updates! It's becoming increasingly difficult to write again because of work. But I promise to keep on working on this story whenever I get my free time! I'm still looking for beta readers, so if anyone would like to help, please feel free to message me!. Comments would be very much appreciated! Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

**Some Things You Can't Change**

**Chapter 3: Heaven Weeps For Him**

(Beta Read by Razgrizblaze1)

* * *

NERV had always presented itself with an eerie air of mysteriousness. Although the facility had been kept well-lit, it had always given off an aura that spooked strangers and newcomers alike—as if there was something quite off about the place.

Deep within the facility, inside a certain fairly-lit room were two women- one busying herself in front of the technological contraption they used to analyze countless data puzzles while the other hovered over her like an overzealous bee.

"Are you really sure about this?" Misato asked for the nth time as she watched Ristuko type away with breathtaking speed and precision, configuring the settings for the upcoming pilot tests.

"For now, this all we can do. We're a bit pressed for time if you haven't noticed. There isn't much time to recruit new pilots," Ritsuko waved her hand passively at her friend.

"But you do know that in most cases, Evas reject their pilots once they reach adulthood, right?"

"Right, but for now we're gonna have to bank on their bond with their Evas. I'm quite confident that Shinji will be the only person to activate Unit-01. What I'm more concerned about is what we're going to do with the other two," Ristuko confessed.

Misato came to a screeching halt, looked up to the ceiling, and scratched her chin in recycled thought, "Now that you've pointed that out, I guess we should start finding another solution for the Fourth. He never got a chance to bond with his Eva properly, remember?"

"Maya and I have started to work on the back up plans. We will be presenting the idea tomorrow, should the circumstance arise. But I'm more than sure that it'll come to that," she replied, taking a sideways glance towards Misato who still stared deep in thought, "as for the Second…."

"Yeah, she might not take that too lightly…"

* * *

Nothing beats the feverish flow of intoxication when it comes to pumping up one's self-confidence. It was yet another glorious night within the Kafe, where people swarmed from all over the city just to come and watch the musicians perform. And it was one these nights, especially, when Shinji feels like playing to the culturally depraved masses.

"This place seems to be more packed than usual," Kaji observed from the bar as more people continued to pour in.

"Well, weekends at this place have been really strong since Shinji started playing. They seem to love a broken man who can play some mean blues," Skip explained as he eyed Shinji, who was had just started setting up his guitar on stage, preparing for the start of his performance.

"Well, I for one couldn't believe what I was hearing the first time I saw him play here. It was really something else to behold!" Kaji could very well remember that particular instance. It was one rainy night 7 months ago and the bar itself wasn't much for customers back then. As usual, Shinji was drunk as hell and would more or less be game to any kind of dare given to him.

"Yeah, if you're wife hadn't coaxed him that much to play, we'd never have discovered his talent. I really gotta thank her for that!" the bartender laughed a bit as he handed Kaji another round of scotch.

"Yep! Because of that kid you've been earning almost double your whole week's sale put together every night he plays!"

Just then, Shinji had finally finished setting up and positioned himself on stage, with a high stool to sit on and his trusty red guitar in his lap. Seeing that he was about to perform, the crowd erupts with a flurry of cheers, knowing full well they were about to get what they came for.

"So, good evening everyone! I've got some new songs to play for you tonight, so I hope you enjoy tonight's performance. Now to start off tonight…"

* * *

"You know, I never really thought you were the drinking kind," Touji confessed to Asuka as he opened the pub's door, allowing for both of his companions to enter through.

"I don't really drink that much, unlike my former guardian of some years ago. Anyway, It's the first time I've seen Hikari in a very long time and such an occasion calls for celebration!" she defended herself while simultaneously checking the surroundings for a vacant table to seat them.

"Well, I pray you aren't as wild as that former guardian of yours when you're the one who's drunk!"

"This place packed tonight! I wonder what's going…" Hikari wasn't able to finish, cut off by the newly arisen chants from the crowd. It was then that she noticed the man up on stage.

""So, good evening everyone! I've got some new songs to play for you tonight, so I hope you enjoy tonight's performance. Now to start off tonight I'm gonna play a couple of familiar hits. Anyone who wants to sing is welcome!" Thus spoke the familiar voice of Shinji as he began playing into the first song of the night.

Asuka paled at the sight. Touji had a hard time suppressing his sniggers at the sight. Hikari was at a loss for words, held speechless by the now volatile situation.

Touji however felt like saying something he felt appropriate at that time, "Well well, I guess we went to the right place at the right time!"

* * *

Kaji almost spat the mouthful of scotch from his mouth, his head waving left and right with break-neck speed, from Shinji's location to the direction of the newcomers coming in through the door.

"Well I'll be damned…"

"You're already damned to hell, Ryouji. The day you married your wife!" Skip chuckled as he corrected the hell-stricken man, checking for what had just caught his attention. "Oh, why if it isn't the lovebirds! Fancy seeing them here tonight and… oh no…"

"Exactly!"

Kaji waved to the trio, catching there attention and drawing them over to the bar. As they approached him, he began to warn Skip, "Pretend like you don't know anything. Trust me, if that redhead blows her cap, you won't have a pub to manage by the end of the night,"

"Fancy seeing you here, Suzuhara! What can I offer you?" Skip tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, attempting to hide away whatever information he managed to pry from Shinji on one of his many drunken nights at the pub.

"Just the usual. And 2 beers for the ladies," came Touji's reply as he took the seat nearest Kaji.

"Kaji! It's been a long time!" Asuka seemed more demure now, in comparison to how Kaji remembers her from before. He also noticed the fine woman she had grown into, perfectly filling out the curves and all.

"It sure has been, Asuka. So, you just arrived today?"

"Yes! Hikari and Suzuhara were nice enough to pick me up at the airport earlier. Tokyo-3 sure has gotten bigger since the good old days!"

"Well it has been a few years you know," Hikari commented needlessly.

"You guys couldn't have picked a better night to show up. It's his night tonight and a whole bunch of people came just to hear him out!" Skip explained while handing them their drinks.

Asuka froze for a bit as the barkeep told them that. "How long has he been playing here?" she asked.

"It's been more than half a year already… The name's Skip by the way," the bartender said as he offered his hand.

"Hello, Asuka Langley Sohryu. Pleased to meet you!" Asuka reached for the hand, only pausing slightly so as to inspect the condition of the offered limb.

"German, eh? My late wife was from Munich. Nikola, God bless her soul," Skip made a gesture of how Christians made their sign of the cross while looking up.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Oh its fine, I lost her during the 3rd angel's attack. Don't tell Ikari though. He'll only get all depressed and emotional if he hears that!"

Asuka then focused her attention to the man performing onstage— the man that she had last seen only half a decade ago. To her, he seemed to have changed considerably while they were apart. He looked much older, the signs of his experiences showing thoroughly on his face, which held a much more defined look. The years of countless nightmares and guilt have been etched into his features. She couldn't bear to look at him straight in the eye if he were just any another guy. But he was Shinji Ikari.

_'It's just like before. You can still keep my eyes glued to you, even without breaking a sweat,'_ she thought to herself.

* * *

**(Flashback)**

_If there was one thing that Asuka would have loved about Japan, it would have been to see the Cherry Blossoms. She felt quite disappointed when she found out that the flora had died out because of Tokyo-3's weather system. However, a nice view of the sunset at the end of a hot summer's day from the beach was a good enough compromise for her._

_"I can't believe we missed that class trip back in high school! To think that I had actually bought a new pair of bikini's just for that trip!"_

_"Come to think of it, you shop all the time now anyway," Shinji dismissed her thought as they walked along the shoreline. "At least we'll now able to enjoy our newfound freedom without so much as a care in the world."_

_"You know, sometimes it's useless to try to talk to a boy like you," Asuka rolled her eyes at her companion's comment. "You know, ever since we all came back I haven't heard you play the cello."_

_"That was random," Shinji commented sardonically. "Actually, I've been meaning to do that for some time now. I just need to find the right motivation or muse or something to write about."_

_Asuka blocked Shinji's path and leaned towards Shinji, an eyebrow twitching up and down. "Muse? Motivation? You're looking right at her!"_

_"If I were to play death metal or something angst filled, then yeah, that might work!" Shinji teased._

_"Baka!" Asuka playfully hit Shinji on the head while he laughed heartily._

_"But we'll see…" Shinji trailed off as he stopped for a moment to take in the finest moment of the day— the sun slowly creeping below the horizon, a masterpiece of shifting colors; while warm and cool air clash into a dance of inconstant emotion . The once blue skies ever so slowly giving way to the warm red tails of sunlight as its yellowish glow creeps only so little, offering a magnificent glow to the crashing waves beneath._

_The setting seemed unforgettable, oh so perfect. Too similar to those countless romantic movies that Asuka endlessly and tirelessly watches with Hikari every Saturday night. The golden offering from the sun gave did nothing but to enhance Asuka's features- making it all the more hard for Shinji to not steal glances._

_"Perhaps someday not too long from now, you'll get to hear me play in some pub nearby, singing my heart out. And perhaps, if I can ever come up with an idea, one of those songs might be yours." _

**(End flashback)**

* * *

It was a great night in the bar, almost everyone having stayed to watch Shinji's entire performance. As he strummed his final chords and plucked the song's final note, the crowd slowly erupted into a cheerful ovation. The bar goers always loved the songs Shinji played. To them, each song felt honest and purely heartfelt. Any singer who came up to jam with him couldn't help but applaud him for his skills or shake his hand for a wonderful rendition.

"Thanks everyone! It's so nice to see a lot of people here tonight!" Shinji's voice erupted from the pub's P.A speakers. Shinji took the moment to have a sip from his scotch and take a good look at the crowd.

"I can see a lot of familiar faces here! It's so nice to see guys here tonight! Perhaps you all want to sing along tonight, yeah?" a few cheers and giggles were heard from the crowd at the sound of Shinji's offer.

"He's gotten a lot more popular since the last time I saw him," Touji commented.

"I agree! And look at those girls giggling and ogling like a bunch of obsessed high school fan girls!" Hikari observed as a group of fairly attracted females kept giggling at Shinji's continued interaction with the crowd. "And he seems more at home on stage than anywhere else!" Hikari added.

"I was about to say that…" came the voice of a still shocked Asuka, her sights still glued to the man walking around on stage.

Once the laughter had subsided, Shinji decided to speak up again, "Again, I'd like to thank Skip for having me here, no matter how many times I come in at the un-godliest hours!" the crowd laughed again at this comment while clapping their hands. Shinji glanced over the bar to give thanks to the friendly bartender. What he didn't expect to see though were the three people that sat beside Kaji.

"Thanks…. Skip…" Shinji's voice progressively softened into a weakened tone. Complete unbridled shock took over his body. He felt the heat rise up to his cheeks while his forehead seemed to freeze over. _'Red hair, cerulean eyes… it can't be…'_

"Uh oh…" was all Kaji could say about the now worsened situation unfolding in front of him. Asuka, if she had been pale earlier, looked even more so now that Shinji had noticed her.

"I think I'm gonna die…" Asuka whispered to herself.

Thinking quickly, Kaji let out a loud whistle. Thankfully, his obscenely loud distraction was enough to break Shinji and Asuka from their stare down.

Shinji however, disoriented as he was, was at a loss for what to do next. Taking another sip of scotch, an idea struck him. "I think I'm gonna break the streak I have going here tonight…" he started. "And instead of just playing, I'm going to sing you a song." The crowd cheered upon hearing what Shinji said, excited by the sudden change in routine.

"Well! The plot thickens!" Touji's voice sounded off as he leaned forward in anticipation of Shinji's next piece. Hikari, of course, gave a rather forceful slap to the back of Touji's head, for which she earned a well-earned "Sorry" from everyone's favorite Stooge.

"You see, I promised an old friend before…" Shinji began, taking another peak at Asuka, "that one day she might see me sitting in a bar, singing a song just for her," a lot of 'oooohs' and 'awwwws' could be heard throughout the venue while he ranted on. "So I guess this is that moment, eh?" he laughed to himself nervously as he positioned himself comfortably towards the microphone. "This song has no title yet, so please bear with me. I hope you all enjoy it, since this is my last song! And this one's for you," He said, taking a final glance towards Asuka.

Shinji began strumming the first few chords of the song lightly and, with moderately slow pace similar to a steady see-saw pace, presented a very lulling mood. Upon a few repetitions, he began to sing.

_Yearning for one_

_Love forevermore_

_But you_

_You left with no goodbyes_

_So much so_

_You never said why_

Shinji strummed the final chord of the part with much emotion to move the crowd with the belt of his voice on the final word. And a short pause before he continued on with the chorus.

_Unbound like I was before_

_Now I'm without a soul_

"Damn… that voice!" Was all that came from Kaji, awestruck the moment he heard Shinji's singing voice for the first time.

"Damn… those words!" Was Skip's reply to Kaji's comment, something that struck Asuka more than it did Kaji.

Shinji ended his chorus with a classy selection of bluesy notes, earning some cheer from the crowd. And then he began to sing the second verse of the song.

_Can I turn back the time?_

_And live in the past_

_In the end_

_You chose to vanish_

_And still_

_You never said why_

With as much effort as he gave during the end of the first verse, Shinji again erupted with a powerful yet soulful belt as he prepared to sing the chorus once more.

_Unbound like I was before_

_Now I'm without a soul_

That was it, the crowd was hooked and he was performing like a man possessed. Then he went on to the bridge of his song.

_Don't wanna wait anymore_

_Don't wanna be alone_

_Don't wanna wait some more_

_Don't wanna be alone anymore_

Shinji sang the chorus of his song again one last time, and now the crowd started to sing with him. With that, he played the outro of his piece—another wonderful play with nicely picked bluesy notes.

The whole pub was then overwhelmed by the loudest applause it has ever received. Shinji gave the audience a smile and waved back as he stepped off the stage. He made his way back over to the bar, his avid listeners giving him pats on the back and shaking his hand in congratulations.

Asuka felt completely glued to her seat, her mind listing every possible thing she could do to either face the impending conversation or escape the highly inevitable emotional conflict making its way towards her. But then again, which would be more painful, staying or leaving? The whole question itself seemed awfully familiar to her.

Shinji could see her from the corner of his eye. He was still being flocked by his listeners, continuing in their congratulatory rally, each trying his or her best to initiate a lengthy conversation with him. But Shinji was just so out of it, his mind trying to hold onto the focus he needs so dearly. As the gears in his mind shifted into overdrive, his pulse became erratic and his conscience conflicted.

'Should I go to her?' His Ego spoke, 'Yes! It's been a while!'

'NO! She left you, remember? Better leave her alone! She's nothing but trouble!' His Id argued back.

'Wow, that's just childish. Fight fire with fire? I say talk to her,' His Ego shot back.

'And then jump off a cliff? Hah, I'd rather keep my dignity intact.' Shinji's Id continued on.

'Bah, whatever!' The Super Ego finally consented.

Like the countless of situations during his teens, the sequence that was about to happen was a classic relapse of how the worst of Shinji sometimes gets the best of him.

He ran away.

* * *

AN: Thanks to those who reviewed again! Sorry for the late post! Go tangled up with some business of the heart. haha Got me sidetracked for a bit! Anyway! That's chapter 3! I got a bit excited to post this because I really think I did a good job on this one. The song that Shinji sang is actually one of my band's songs. haha It's originally written in Tagalog (Filipino) and it took me some time finding the words that would actually do justice to the Tagalog version. Just PM me if you want a copy of the original one. The mp3 of the song might get uploaded in my band's site, I'll just update you guys about that soon! :D Thanks to blaze for the very nice review! I'm certainly gonna be looking you up for beta reads! Anyway! I'll post the next chapter hopefully this week as well. So please keep reading and supporting! Much love!


	4. Chapter 4

**Some Things You Can't Change**

**Chapter 4: Reflex Action**

(Beta Read by Razgrizblaze 1)

* * *

Touji could barely care to count the number of times he stood facing this door. It seemed to be his designated role on every occasion Kensuke and Kaji were incapable of fulfilling the task. In this case, Kensuke was out of reach- '_Bah, he's probably finishing one of those Psych studies he's been doing. He's been boring lately_.' Touji thought. As for Kaji, there was too much alcohol in his system to function properly. '_Damn Skip and Kaj, always up to nothing productive when they're together'. _Touji gave the door three hard knocks and stood waiting for a response.

"Who's there?"

"The Bloody Ghost of Christmas, you dolt! Who else would bother coming up here at this time of the night?" Touji replied.

Touji could hear Shinji coming to get the door. When it swung open, he spotted Shinji bearing a glass of scotch in one hand and a cigarette clipped between the fingers of his other hand. "Ah, I see you haven't changed Post-Traumatic- Ritual 2.0 in the slightest," was Touji's sarcastic greeting.

"What, you'd rather have me go back to turning tail and trying to vanish from the face of the earth? Just come inside already" Shinji widened the gap in the doorway some more to accommodate his old friend.

"Here to do your delegated duty, I suppose," Shinji began, making his way towards the fridge to tender his friend a bottle of beer. "Just so you know, I thought it was fair game to excuse myself there and be spared an excruciating encounter with my tormentor," Shinji stated, tossing Touji a bottle of beer while taking a fresh puff from his cigarette. "Here, have some"

"Wasn't this the day that you've been looking forward to? You've been preparing yourself to face her so you'd get all your questions answered. Here she is now, so why'd you run away?"

"It's easy for you to say,"

"Oh, do explain then"

Shinji stared at Touji for a moment, studying his features as to try and verify the sincerity in his friend's statement. "Fine,"

"I didn't really know what came over me. I was debating whether or not I should approach her. It's a reflex, I guess. I'm conditioned to squirm away and retreat when I'm exposed to a stimulus such as Asuka." Touji merely shook his head as he listened to Shinji justify his situation.

"Good grief, you spend too much time with Kensuke. You speak an almost alien language to me!"

Touji laughed at how Shinji was starting to mimic Kensuke's method of explaining things. It felt so bizarre to him how easily Shinji could express the matters that made his emotions and thoughts so complex. "At any rate, if you were curious as to what happened right after you left, I can offer you a fairly detailed account of the events that followed…if you would allow it," declared Touji, raising an eyebrow as he waited a reply.

"Fine, let me have it" Shinji shrugged, taking another sip of his scotch in preparation for Touji's impending recount.

* * *

This room was just too packed for her. The ceaseless movement of people and their relentless noise was wearing down on her last nerve. Couple these factors with the event that just took place; Shinji standing there a few moments ago singing her song. It was too much to process at one moment. The whole setting was just too much, so she dashed for the door.

"Wait wait, argh!" came Hikari's voice as she tried to call out to Asuka who hastened for the exit.

"Ah well, I've expected as much. Let me handle this" Kaji pursued the redhead, his trusty scotch in hand.

The air was such a welcome element for her; such an embracing sensation that deluged her senses. She needed to sort out the night's events. She did not expect to find him of all people, in the same bar as she and her companions. Moreover, she did not at all expect him to elicit such profound examples of confident behavior—performing in front of a huge crowd, singing his heart out, and not to mention that sang a song for her with minute hesitance.

"I guess that was some excitement for your first night back" came a voice behind her.

Kaji searched through his pockets for a cigarette and lit up the first he could dig out, taking a long drag before exhaling to the site of Tokyo-3's night sky.

"I'd be bold enough to wager that he was prepared for a more grand setting" he chuckled as he took a glance at Asuka, who appeared out of her own wits, trying to grasp everything all at once.

"I think I got more than I had bargained for. I was hoping that I'd actually get to talk to him—in a more nonchalant circumstance, you know" Asuka sighed.

"He's been through a lot, you know. I've never seen him so involved with anything ever since you left. After the whole business with Instrumentality, he allowed his whole world to revolve around you. And then you left, he had to piece quite a painful jigsaw puzzle,"

"I know, I know… I just didn't expect that from him…"

"But I'd be willing to guess you liked what you saw" Kaji asked.

"Yeah, I guess... I've always wanted to see him grow a backbone and start acting more assertively. He seemed so composed earlier…" she trailed off before she started recreating the events in her head.

"Time has changed him. You yourself witnessed this,"

* * *

**(flashback)**

_Tokyo-3 used to be such a bustling city. Even at night, people could find something to burn their time away. After the Third Impact, massive restoration plans were laid out all across the globe, showing Humanity was getting back up on its feet. Tokyo-3 was no different—the buildings and edifices that used to light up the skyline at night were nowhere to be found. Lining the horizon Instea was the sight of the unfinished construction sites set to be re-occupied with workers at sunrise. Save for the distant rumbling of automobiles, silence now ruled the skies._

_Shinji found himself scanning along the horizon again. Sitting on the balcony's floor with, back to the wall, he silently fended off the images that tormented him night in and night out._

"_At it again?" the venom coating those words stung his ears. It was such awful timing for her to parade on him like this. 2:30 in the morning, suffering from insomnia and infinitely troubled with the nightmares that awaited him in his sleep, a little nudge would surely let lose Shinji's own version of Third Impact._

"_Seriously Third Child, all the noise you've been producing is really getting on my nerves. It's one thing that you have mental issues, but that's no reason to deprive me of my rest! Gott in Himmel, you annoy me!" Shinji had grown accustomed to the fiery redhead's temper. He learned to tune her ranting out whenever she attempted to berate and belittle him. But that was before the Instrumentality- before he lost a greater part of himself._

_Shinji clenched his fists, feeling them both tremble with tension. He knew this feeling; this surge of heat in his head. His mind tried desperately to tune out her verbal onslaught but he just couldn't seem to do so tonight. Something inside him was stirring—a burning sensation longing to break free._

"_I swear, if Third Impact didn't kill me, the lack of sleep I'm getting from you will kill me!"_

_Third Impact._

_You._

_Kill._

_Me._

_Those choice words nipped at him, their utterance causing a lethal reaction, awakening the ire and contempt that for so long lay dormant and buried beneath an emotional blanket. It longed for release, for that epic liberation under such lasting restraint. And just like that—_

"_WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Shinji's eyes widened with fury. Quickly, he picked himself up and leveled his gaze towards the redheaded girl, his rage on the rise._

_Asuka stood in utter shock at his outburst. For someone so meek and timid in her mind's eye, this was the last act she expected to witness. _

"_What? Speechless now, are we?" his voice came weighed with greater malice than Asuka's had earlier, his eyes reflected with anger. It was one of those rare circumstances that the 'Great' Sohryu Asuka Langley felt something that she had never experienced towards the young Ikari before—_

_Fear._

"_Up till now, I've been letting all your snide remarks and insults slide because I knew that's how you are—some stuck up brat that can't deal with the fact that there will come a time when she will have no choice but to lie down and accept defeat." Shinji, possessed by his anger advanced on Asuka, who attempted to scramble backward._

"_Can't you, at the very least, show some respect for someone who's been through the same nightmare. You think anyone is buying your little pretense of independence and that you can push everyone away like they mean nothing? What bullshit!"_

_The last phrase rang heavily in Asuka's ears. Never had she heard Shinji curse like that before. She quickly realized she had definitely plucked a delicate string here. She attempted to compose herself and re-grasp some fleeting dignity. "Shinji, calm down." She said, raising both hands in front of her._

"_Calm down? Hah. Calm down!!? I'm sick of calming the hell down every single time you pick on me. Tell me, what have I ever done to merit so much of your irritation? Just what!!?" _

_For the first time, Asuka couldn't find anything to retort with._

_Shinji stopped and regarded her for a moment. He could see just how shocked she was, reading her features closely. Her eyes gave away a lot more than she would admit. He scoffed before continuing "You know what, you're not worth it." Removing his gaze, Shinji walked past the frozen Asuka and darted straight for his room. Before entering though, he said one last thing that Asuka would never forget._

"_Just so you know, you're not the only one who feels like everyone leaves you behind. My mother may not have lost her sanity, but she still died right in front of my eyes. I even saw what happened to your mother during instrumentality. Everything."_

_Shinji paused again, taking one last glance at Asuka "If only you weren't so damn stubborn, I'd be willing to walk that path with you. You were never alone. You had me." Shinji turned for the last time and departed for his room, closing the door behind him. Asuka could only stand ramrod still, stunned and alone._

**(end flashback)**

* * *

"How could I forget? That blasted baka actually had the gall try and reduce me to a whimpering ninny," her lips curved into a small smile upon recollecting the incident. "Back then, I swore to myself that you were the only one deemed worthy enough to see my true self—arrogance and wickedness aside."

Asuka took a deep breath. She welcomed the atmosphere of the city she used to call home. Scanning the horizon and everything in her peripherals, "Here I was thinking that Tokyo-3 hadn't changed at all. Tokyo-3 sure has improved since I was last here."

"Hmm?" Kaji raised an eyebrow and curiously eyed the redhead. She appeared pensive, albeit wearing a small smirk on her face—something which lightened his weighted heart a little.

"After the Third Impact, Tokyo-3 seemed to suffocate me. I felt trapped. Perhaps back then there wasn't much to do. There weren't any people around and the nights were too quiet and serene for my tastes,"

Kaji smiled, taking a drag from his cigarette. Looking up into the night sky, he said "The government put a lot of effort to try and rebuild what was lost in the Third Impact. Japan prided itself for its resiliency—the will to endure against any adversity. In order to do that, they needed to mend the country's heart, Tokyo-3."

Asuka sighed, once again acknowledging her newfound comfort with Tokyo-3's air. "It's good that even in these difficult times, people still remember that there are things that need to change and other things that should never be bothered"

"You could say that. Her wounds have somewhat healed now. The scars, I pray, will soon be gone as well," Kaji replied. '_I hope the two of you can do the same_' he thought to himself.

* * *

The atmosphere within NERV was very tense. This was it. They were about to embark on the same quest they had crusaded nearly a decade ago. For most people, it wasn't clear if their enemy was the same. What was clear was that they were once again fighting for the continued salvation and preservation of the human race. A lot of fresh faces could be spotted within the ranks of NERV's staff. Despite how most of the original staff managed to rise again from the sea of LCL, NERV still had the need to recruit additional individuals.

Touji and Asuka arrived punctually, standing before the proud edifice of NERV headquarters in Tokyo-3. The overwhelming presence looming before them sent heavy shivers of nostalgia down their spines. It had been 8 long years since the last time they were here.

"So Sohryu, are you ready for this?" Touji asked without looking at Asuka, his eyes glued to the insignia plastered at the very center of the facility's front.

"It's not like we can back out, Stooge"

Touji's head snapped towards Asuka. It was the first time she called him Stooge since her return. However, with the tone in her voice it didn't sound as degrading as it did when they were fourteen. "What did you call me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Relax, I was just kidding. I just missed calling you that," Asuka chuckled as she started walking, leaving behind a bewildered Touji.

"Man, I think she's a nutcase now…" shaking his to head, Touji followed the redhead inside the headquarters.

The interior felt the same for Asuka—people in uniform rushing to and fro, shuttling informtation from one room to the next, processing the information to be checked and re-checked by the MAGI. However, everyone seemed to be on double-time as she noticed many sporting tense looks as they passed by.

"There you are! Asuka!" rang an all too familiar voice. Asuka turned only to meet a sea of purple hair engulf her into a crushing bear-hug. "It's been so long!"

"Hello, Misato! Can't—breathe!" she said, gasping for air. Upon release, Misato couldn't help but crack a smile and allow shining tears to cascade from her eyes upon seeing her former ward. "It's been such a long time…" she stated once more "and I just hate how when we finally reunite, it's under these circumstances.

"It can't be helped," Asuka shrugged, offering her former surrogate mother an understanding smile.

Misato turned her gaze to Asuka's companion. "It's good to see you too, Touji," she greeted warmly, offering the young man a hug.

Touji, whose face lit up upon realizing Misato's gesture, met the purple-haired woman's embrace. "You know, 8 years ago, this would've been my wet dream,"

"Eeek! Pervy stooge!" WHACK! Asuka's immediate reaction was to smack Touji upside the head upon hearing his remark. "You should very well know where your loyalties lie, Stooge! Hikari would surely not be pleased if she hears this!"

"Hee-eey! That hurt!" Touji rubbed the back of his head "I was joking you know! You even know what a joke is?"

Misato chortled at the sight, '_At least their spirits are high_' she thought. "Come now, we need to start the meeting,"

* * *

Just outside the headquarters, two men sat in a car smoking a respective cigarette. The elder of the two, who was driving the car, took a lengthy drag from his cigarette.

"So, have you thought this through? Just like with every other decision you've had to make?" Kaji asked.

"Well, there's really not much to think about. Even if I decline and go into hiding, sooner or later they'll decide to hunt me down," Shinji replied with a heavy sigh. He glanced through out window, letting his gaze settle on the front of the facility that once defined him and at the same time nearly destroyed his humanity. "Not to mention that there's someone that I kinda have a bone to pick with," he added non-chalantly.

Kaji couldn't help but chuckle at what he came to understand as Shinji's brand of humor. "Are you sure you're ready? I wouldn't want to hear about a 23-year old man being chased out of the building by a woman his age screaming profanities. That would cause such a scandal. Imagine the paperwork," he teased, bringing the car to a stop.

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?" Shinji opened the door and stood, the light from the morning sun glistened brightly as if to signify good fortune to those still around to enjoy its offering. '_Well, let's see just how bring my day would be_'

And with that, he walked towards the entrance.

* * *

Nostalgia was beginning to overcome her senses, mixing into a cocktail of emotions already inside Asuka. Happiness, Anger, Sorrow, Relief… She once thought the day where she would behold this sight would never come. Though, most of the time she prayed it wouldn't. As if Third Impact were just a figment of some deranged novelist's mind, the blood-red Unit 02 sat proudly before her in the hanger. Not a single dent, damage or, scratch could be seen on the surface.

"Mama…" she whispered to herself.

Images of the moments before Third Impact came rushing back. The EVA series, that blasted lance, those repulsive faces and their grotesque wings… and finally, bastard that never came to her aid. She was brought back from her overwhelming trance by a pat on her back. Misato seemed to have noticed her behavior.

"Relax. That's all in the past," she offered the redhead a comforting smile, hoping it would be sufficient to momentarily quell her nightmares.

"Will she still take me?" Asuka ashed her former guardian.

"Ritsuko and I believe that your case is similar to that of Shinji. Unit 02 has the essence of your mother, allowing it to become the soul of that Evangelion. It is with that premise that we believe Unit 02 would only allow one Sohryu Asuka Langley to pilot her," she smiled, regarding the scarlet behemoth in front of them.

"But I thought we had to be younger in order to pilot Evas?"

"That would've been the case had your mother not fused with Unit 02. That had presented to be a glitch in the rule. If you'd ask me, I'd say it's a little too coincidental,"

Asuka frowned at her former guardian's statement. She didn't really like discussing much about the demise of her beloved mother. It certainly didn't please her that her death may have been pre-meditated by someone with ulterior motives.

"Wait, wait, wait… So, what about me? My mum was never involved with NERV!" Touji interjected.

"That's what I had been working on," came a voice from across the hangar. Ritsuko approached the trio, sporting a confident, knowing smirk. "My team and I had been working 'round the clock just for you, pilot Suzuhara," she winked at him. "Come with me,"

Ritsuko led them to another corner of the hangar, ducking into a smaller room. Upon reaching their destination, Touji had to squint from the absence of proper lighting. From what he could tell from the shadows about the room, although it was smaller than the previous one, it still offered the same amount of headroom.

"I'd like to present you, Pilot Suzuhara, the frontier of NERV's research and development," Touji could hear Ritsuko pulling some sort of lever mechanism. And just then, the lights of the room flickered to life on by one—illuminating a towering machine unlike what he saw in the previous room.

"Apostolos Mark-1 aka Pietro" Ritsuko announced proudly.

"Apostle? Is this some kind of Bible joke?" Asuka asked the blonde-haired woman, her eyebrow arching.

"It only makes sense for me to call it as such, given the Biblical references surrounding Evangelions, Angels , Adam and so on. Why, would you rather I name this machine as Weltall? I was seriously considering that one,"

"Fine, fine, the name doesn't matter. I won't be piloting it anyway,"

Touji examined the features of the machine that stood before him. It surely was shorter than a regular Evangelion. Perhaps the top of its head would only reach the bicep of that of an Evangelion. However, this machine was wider—bulkier. Touji saw it as something that he would only see in the cartoons he used to watch as a kid. It looked nothing like an Eva: its head came off as some futuristic helmet with no mouth. Its ears looked like two v-shaped antennas, perhaps used for communication. Touji was pretty sure that the gap above the facemask and the forehead was where the machine's 'eyes' would be. The body in general appeared pretty boxy. Touji imagined its body had to be filled with numerous compartments, each containing hundreds of homing missiles and the likes. 'That would be so cool!' Touji thought giddily to himself.

"This machine is the first of its kind and our first means of taking a step forward and away from Evangelions. We tried to take away the synchronization variable to lessen the mental and psychological burden for the pilot."

"How would the pilot be able to manipulate the machine then without any worry for latency?" Asuka inquired.

"That's what we had been working on," Ritsuko started. "We took the human body's principle of muscle movement and translated the concept into mechanics. In mechanics however, the substitute for the human brain would be a series of controls that the pilot has at his disposal. Right now the learning curve is a bit steep, but we'll be sure to maintain a healthy pace in its development to help future pilots adapt better," Ritsuko tossed Touji a thick book, presumable a user manual, which earned a load 'Awww hell no!' and a frustrated grunt.

"Hey, at least you won't have to worry about losing a limb anymore," The blonde-haired woman winked at Touji, who squirmed. All he could offer himself then was another sympathetic sigh '_So much for graduating from book-reading_' he thought.

* * *

The Commander's office used to be a really spooky place for any that weren't used to being there. A vast office covered by a blanket of darkness. Such a setting preceded dark intentions: secrecy, deception, corruption and a number of other things that would dispel positive intentions.

This changed however when one Kozo Fuyutsuki was named the new Supreme Commander of NERV. He had ordered the men that restored the rest of the facility to install more lights in the room and to add furniture so that the office would come off as inviting, rather than a front for something sinister. In addition to that, the Commander brought in his collection of prized books that dated prior to the Second Impact.

He never really liked the dim-lighting and brooding atmosphere his predecessor once soaked in. It just seemed too ominous for him. It spooked people too much. Commander Fuyutsuki even went so far as to speculate that the late Gendo Ikari was not a fan of Sun Tzu. '_He just gave himself away all too easily_' he thought to himself with a smirk.

The Commander was taken back from his musings when he heard his phone's intercom ring. "What is it, Hitomi?" he asked the secretary

"Your guest has arrived, sir. Shall I send him in?" the secretary inquired.

"Wonderful! Yes, please! Thank you!" he replied warmly.

A few moments passed before one Shinji Ikari entered the room. Kozo Fuyutsuki could not help but smile. His trump card had arrived.

"So, when do we begin?"

* * *

AN: FINALLY! I've been meaning to continue this story, but I had bee heavily de-toured and discouraged by a lot of things that had been happening lately. Anyway, I look to continue posting in a weekly basis, I hope. I'm actually trying to re-frame the plot to accommodate the new characters, mechs, and scenarios that had taken place in the Rebuild of Evangelion arc. Anyway, I hope to hear from you guys! Enjoy!


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